How Hannah Feels About This

An interview with our 7 year old daughter ahead of our move

Many of you have asked how the kids are feeling about the upcoming move from Birmingham to Rwanda. My canned response has been “they’re excited because they think every day giraffes will be eating at our back window”, which truly was a direct quote from one of the first conversations with the kids after we’d made the decision.

But now that we’re within the 10 day window of the fly-out date, we’re due for an update from the kids themselves. I stole some time alone in the car with our oldest, Hannah, and peppered her with questions. I’ve transcribed our conversation below and cleaned it up as little as possible to preserve her thoughts but keep it readable.

Let’s check in on how Hannah’s doing…

Hannah never turns down taking another silly photo

What kind of things do you feel when you think about moving to Africa?

I feel excited, sad, nervous, and embarrassed.

I’m nervous because I’m going to be the only white person in my class and that everyone will be staring at me.

I don’t want to be embarrassed and do anything wrong. I’m used to having my rules at my school and I don’t know what the rules are going to be. Like, will I be able to stand up? Do I have to raise my hand? I don’t want to do anything wrong.

I’m sure you’ll be able to stand up. You said you’re also sad. What are you sad about?

I have to leave most of my friends. Like Abish, Susu, Peypey, Summer, my church friends, Claire, Neely Price, Izzy. *laughs* I named only girls. Oh yeah, I’m gonna miss Sam and Emmett.

(At this point in the conversation, she gave an extended explanation of how she asked Sam if he was her boyfriend and he “didn’t know”. Emmett asked her to be his girlfriend, apparently prompted by their mutual 1st grade friend Cru, and Hannah plans to be his girlfriend long distance. Thank you, Atlantic Ocean, for saving me from this drama.)

What kinds of things about moving make you excited?

About the long flight. I’ve never slept on a plane before, I’m very glad for that.

I’m glad you’re excited about it. Let’s hope that excitement lasts all 24 hours of the travel time.

But here’s something I’m not going to be excited about… we have to drive! I just hate it! I love flying, I hate driving. I just like hate it. You get aches in your back and all that. And you don’t get to look out your window and see the pretty sky. When I ride a long car ride my back is killing me and my knees start popping every minute.

What do you think about living at the Miller’s house for a little while?

That’s gonna be fun. Kethia and AnnaMarie can bake together with me, and AnnaMarie can help me draw and paint. And I’m also excited because I can ask Mr. Matt if I can work as a barista. I think he’d say yes.

I remember at VBS what he said to you daddy— “I like you, but I like your kids better”.

Yeah, I remember that. You guys are lovable so I wasn’t very surprised! Maybe you can convince Mr. Matt to let you make his coffee in the morning like you do for us. You do such a good job.

I’m also very scared about crossing the ocean. Is that the part when we’ll be sleeping? I’m scared that the person that’s flying didn’t get enough sleep so he’ll fall asleep and we’ll crash in the ocean.

Well that’s why we’ve got more than one pilot. If one’s sleepy or sick the other one helps, so you don’t have to be worried. Anything else you’re worried about?

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What everyone else sees after you try to put JOY stickers on your forehand while looking in a mirror.

Reflecting on this conversation, she strikes me as her usual silly self with some appropriate concerns about big upcoming life changes on our horizon. She’s been seeking more of our personal attention in recent days, which I believe stems from our distraction working through the checklist to get everything in order before the departure. No prodding was necessary at all to get her talking in our brief time together, which tells me that a lot more of these little talks need to happen to let her be heard, to validate the big feelings she’s having, and to shepherd her through how to process it all.

I’d welcome any advice from folks which have navigated big changes like this with kids this age because it’s totally new ground to us and we’re making it up as we go. Which is honestly how I’ve felt about parenting the whole time.

God, help us all! (Literally!)